You know that feeling in your stomach when you’re faced with a difficult decision? The feeling where you’re stuck between safe and risky? Me too but the difference is that I chose the risky decision – the decision where I didn’t know how it would turn out or if it even would. The decision that knots your stomach up and makes you over think. Well at least I have tried to make the risky decisions in my life.
Why you ask? Because every time I have made those heart-dropping decisions, I have found that I am becoming more and more of myself. I constantly battle with deciding for myself or what others want me to do. And I end up feeling guilty for choosing my own happiness. Maybe because time and time again I have been called selfish for simply making a decision that makes me happy.
What breaks my heart is that I see so many people stuck. Stuck in terrible relationships. Stuck working for a job they hate. Stuck studying something they have no interest in just because of the potential of making money. Stuck in a town they’ve never left. All because they want to play it safe.
I started choosing for myself when I found that I was absolutely miserable studying a topic I thought I liked. I started college as an accounting major – huge gigantic mistake. I then moved to a Zoology major, I guess I thought the first class was going to be a field trip to the petting zoo…it wasn’t. I then decided to try a class called “Principles of Human Development” and I changed my major right after that first day of class. I found what I loved and went for it..multiple times and thats okay! You do not have to follow anyones blueprint. Make your own!!
We all seem to get caught up in bad relationships and seem to think it’s normal to be miserable. Let me tell you, it’s not. I hit a breaking point after being in an on/off relationship for over a year with someone who made me feel less than. After months and months of tears, screaming fights, and dropping down to 95 pounds I realized that I deserved more. And so do so many of you. Trust me, it’s okay to be alone – it’s more than okay! You have to have faith that the universe has a plan for you.
Well the universe really threw me a curve ball because a few weeks after ending my toxic relationship my long-distance best friend of 4 years and I started dating. Too soon you think? That’s what everyone said but guess what? Their opinion doesn’t play a part in my decisions. I’ll admit, sometimes those questions like “what if this..” or “what if that..” pop up in my head but I shut that down real fast. If I’m happy then why does it matter??
Those same folks said I was crazy for flying 2,000 miles to Alaska to visit that same best friend/boyfriend because I hadn’t seen him in person in about 6 years. But guess what I did? I got my happy ass on a plane and had the best vacation of my life! And then guess what I did a month later? Moved in with him after only dating for a month!
Crazy? Yes, it is absolutely bonkers! But so is staying in a boring, unhappy relationship because it’s comfortable. So is never leaving your hometown. So is being miserable over things you can change.
So I guess what I’m getting at is that choosing happiness is scary but so is living your entire life wondering what it could of been. Make changes in your life to make it YOUR LIFE! The pieces will fall into place and before you know it, you’ll find yourself. Cheesy I know but it’s true! Choose happiness because I promise you, it’s worth it.